noosphere

groking inverse gravity, rather, trying to.

i’ve got a good start on defining probability as a … let’s just say i’m writing dr. david z. albert three years (to the day?) after he sent me away with this assignment.  some things just take time [experience/observation].

am fairly certain the ph.d. [completed thesis] is going to happen before the bachelor’s.  i don’t think i’m going to have time to take that art class.  

as luck would have it, there’s somewhat of a precedent at princeton for things like this (which would mean i cld finally get that xbox =d)

i know, a few posts ago i pooh’d academia but the gracious neighbor of 1 einstein drive is one of the most beautiful campuses in the world…  

+ i miss my ivory tower.

tho’ it’s not so bad out here in the real world.  just got home from the company party. [am officially official; temp no more.]

strange to be on solid ground after so many years at sea yet amazing to truly enjoy my work and easily appreciate the people with whom i collaborate.

startup #2 is now d.i.t.w.  i’m okay with it, now that i understand why.

they were never mine to begin with, always some iteration of another’s desire. when the other disappears, much of the motive force leaks away as well.

which is well and good now that i’m gainfully employed as a “librarian” at a fantastically ethical company which crafts gear for human-powered adventure. in this moment, i’m happy to be there.

a bit of room to breathe, headspace to sift through the ashes…  

i see that there is only one thing i care enough about such that i will pursue it alone until the end of time: understanding the universe, the marvelous space in which we exist, because the only way out (for all of us) is up.

this is my art, the heart of my creativity.  not books, not jobs.

the detour’s been valuable, no doubt. my “academic career” is now my startup. [quotes because much of what must be done no longer requires me to be affiliated with a university. recent advances in tech have seen to that. + my collection of math books, i.e. those i’ve chosen rather than those chosen for me by a professor, is nearly complete.] at the end of this iteration, there will be technology, i.e. clear deliverables.

it’s going to be the most interesting slide deck anyone’s seen in awhile. !!*^_^*!!b

Mentally exhausted after what seemed to be a long day.  Some minor setbacks earlier in the day balanced by a good meeting with Bronson over at Rose Tech.  He answered my n00b questions re: money-stuff quite completely.  Tho’ he did lose me a couple times…

Other good news: during my wanderings around the city today, my HCP came together. It’s not @peretti’s two-word summary of BuzzFeed, but at five words, it’s not so bad.

A few weeks back, I was ruminating on a choice between pursuing a path in the political space or pursuing a path that would lead me back toward school & my research.

As I mentioned, a talk from Sanford Dickert set me straight.  It wasn’t any particular thing he said that shook me, but when the conversation finally settled all the way in, I realized that despite the fact that I called myself an entrepreneur, I wasn’t acting like one.

Entrepreneurs build their own things; they don’t try to join other projects as problem-solvers.  Consultants do.  Given a choice between one or the other, I choose and have chosen the first.  It suits my temperament and my raging desire to create new things that will help and reach many people.

What’s great about this choice is that it is not a thing which extinguishes the paths I mentioned at the beginning of this post.  The path I’ve chosen leads to limitless possibilities.  I suppose that’s what being an entrepreneur / architect (in the most general sense) is all about.

After living a life which was in many ways (but not in all ways) not my own, I’m glad to finally be here.

Working from home again on researching orgs for Relief Oversight.  Reading some of the blogs from the orgs on ground:  It’s inspiring and heart-wrenching at the same time. Inspiring to read about what people are doing to help and heartbreaking, all the suffering.

Just finished a chunk of work (from home!) for Relief Oversight.  & while I only managed to get through three of the five orgs on my plate, I made a ton of progress in usability (not UX but slightly related) & general organization.

I emailed some of you about helping out.  For the more sensitive among you, I want to let you know that it is beyond both my desire and my inclination to pass judgment on you for choosing not to participate.  In fact, it’s a non-thought, except for my worry that you might think I think you’re jerks.  I don’t. =)

Spent the day at New Work City volunteering with CrisisCamp NYC.  An enjoyable experience all-around.  Worked / am working on UX and research / data entry for Relief Oversight.

Spending more time working on outreach program and less time worrying about political activism.  Projects/thoughts can run in parallel, i.e. research / due diligence is taking me to some nat’l orgs.  Makes me wonder how much of their funding goes to overhead (see Bunker Roy quote) — in the back of my mind models are being set up re: small gov’t, using these big nat’l orgs as flow-templates.  Also, thinking about funding models for my own org dovetails into the redefinition of ROI problem.

It’s all data, data, data, food for the machine! =)

As Will Smith suggests in this great montage, am laying one brick at a time as perfectly as I can.  Except I’m not building a wall, I’m building steps!

involves the nature of reality, encompasses math; theoretical physics; theories of consciousness, embodiment, time, gravity, and mass.  There’s some useful tech that will come out of it, namely breakthroughs in medical imaging & diagnosis, hopefully some useful med treatment tech as well.

Eventually, it will take us out of the solar system speedily enough to make use of any habitable exoplanets we find (yes, FTL).  How?  If we understand the structure of the universe in which we live, i.e. the nature of our reality, we can find pathways out of here.  Like Carl Sagan, I believe the universe wants to know itself and that we are not meant to be stuck here.

If my ideas are so great, why don’t I have funding?  They’re unpopular.  What I will prove will set physics as we know it on end. [edit:  I got in a slight twitter tussle with @stevesilberman about the practice of science as dogma/religion.  I emailed him the details of my experiences; he sympathized and agreed re: the validity of my research.]

I don’t enjoy being the underdog; it just works out that way.  I see a problem and think of ways to solve it.

I discussed my thoughts re: centrist party with my sister (who has a degree in political science from UC Berkeley).

Her immediate reaction:  What happened to school & research?  (We also had a long discussion re: third party.  She disagreed at first but eventually came around.  My arguments are/were sound.)

My response:  It’s all part of the same problem.  How to make life better for as many people as possible.  Some might attribute it to ego; to me (& I’ve done the work, i.e. soul-searching), it’s a matter of efficiency and a part of who I am.

While I believe that every act makes a difference, I’ve tried to work small (my work with children) and found it immediately fulfilling and eventually unsatisfactory.  It’s a matter of being able to use my intellect & creativity & drive to their fullest.

I see the big picture; I like love big ideas and have the gumption & will to see them into implementation.

My dilemma (and the reason for the lack of follow-up with Charlie & Dens):  which big idea do I choose?

If I choose politics (centrist party or the like), I shouldn’t waste time trying to establish a rep as coordinator / facilitator / idea person with start-up tech companies.  I should build a platform, develop implementation strategies, work with / talk to grassroots orgs, find VC’s & angels who take the long-view on ROI & have similar political leanings.

If I choose school & research, then working with tech companies (in software & hardware) and establishing a rep makes sense.  School won’t pay for itself.

Since I couldn’t find a job, I decided that I would have to make my own.

While at Columbia, I met several tech entrepreneurs at a meeting put together by the applied math dept.  Checking in via the ‘net two years later, I saw that one of the projects discussed (Charlie O’Donnell’s Path101) had stalled severely.  And, after a reblog rant, @dens himself emailed me, asking for suggestions on how to add a civic/community engagement aspect to Foursquare, harnessing the power of social media & “peer-pressure” to get more people involved.  Opportunities.

Also, during my time in the PNW, I watched the new administration carefully and quickly became disillusioned with what was happening in DC, esp. related to healthcare.  My frustration was such that I felt compelled to take action.  But how?  What could I do?  How could I leverage my current skillset to help make change?

The two ideas (start-up consults / work in DC) coalesced into my new life/career as social entrepreneur.  I realized what the problems/interests at the two tech companies and my frustration with events DC had in common:  they engaged my passion for helping people and doing my part to help make the world a better place.

As I mentioned here, I lost my job + tuition benefits after the economy tanked and endowments at Columbia University went with it.  And while the time in PNW was great, I did not (as promised) return to NYC with the future.

In my hubris, I thought I could go it alone and build the tech that would change how we think about who and why we are + get me the grants/funding I needed to finish school.  Nope, I needed an eletrical engineer, & while the UW had plenty, my connections were here in NYC.  And as my research & interests are dangerous (i.e. academics in their right mind (as in desirous of keeping their jobs) won’t work with me), connections were crucial, being an enrolled (as opposed to leave-of-absence) student under the protective umbrella of a major research university was (and is) crucial.

So I spent my time reading, keeping up on my studies, catching up with old friends, helping Mom & Dad with various projects, thinking, and looking for work (which I did not find).

When an opp to return to the city arose, I took it.   And as I mentioned in a reblog, I returned with nothing but a pocket full of dreams and some really great ideas.

there’s a frog keeruping outside my window.  am going to miss this place.

spent a number of hours brushing the grass today.  it shed lichen, moss, weeds, and dried wisps of itself in copioius amounts.  completely filled the bin.  amazing.  am so very tired.